APRIL FOOL! And still "The Best Wee Numpty in the World"

The Best Wee Numpty, 2011

My name is Jack, noo Lord McConnell
There wis nae problem, I couldnae haunal
I came fae Arran. lived on a farem
It wis the best we farem in the world

But I got to leave now, cause the Lords are calling
Though its slave rate wages, I find quite appalling
But I’ve ma parly pension, then there’s Bridget too
It's still the best wee country in the world

Yeh I love Scotland , Ma Bonnie Scotland
Where the comrades run things and wi all get on
That’s oor cosy famiies, even numpties get paid
Yeh ,its the best wee county in the world

And noo there’s Ian, ma Grey successor
I get real mad when they say he’s better
Better than me, and ma best pall Wendy
We were the BEST wee numpies in the world

But there’s still Andy, he’s mister handy
If you want thing fucked up Then he’s your man
If you live near Monklands, you might well remember
He was the numpty who near flushed you doon the pan

But he’s fae Scotland, Were aw fae Scotland
We know whit’s best for oor great wee land
Cause we’ve been told, by oor civil servants
With their own wee numpties who can always lend a hand

And the there’s Richard think his name is Richard
Don’t know whit he done, But he’s oor man
To cut doon crime, by jailing half o Scotland
That’s the half, who think that he’s a bam

But he’s frae Scotland the part of Scotland
Where the numpites, clearly understand
That the worse you are, means you're really brilliant
If you just say, yes, Jack, yes , it's your promised land

I go to go now, touch base wi Ed
When I head him speak, I thought that he wis dead
Whit they said wis “red” That he’d a big head
But we don’t need that sort oo thing in oor wee land 

And he’ no fae Scotland, oor Bonnie Scotland
Run by oor families, Granda, bairns and Mam
And we a get paid some, it;s just like in the masons
We run the best wee racket in the Land

Hey I’m no Nat, But I can see this far
That we’re moving forward, wi wee Eck in charge
Could of done thing better, But faced heavy weather
And they deserve to stay in Reekie land

Cause I’m frea Scotland, that’s BONNIE SCOTLAND!
Where we’re no aw numpties, or pals o Broom
And on 5th of May, when we get oor say
We should a unite , and drive these numpties oot a toun

To be continued……….video coming soon. Oh the joys of Laboutite imposed underemployment

(c) Alan Smart, 1st April, 2011